I am only logging back in bc I have to complain about a coworker and I cannot do it on Twitter.

First of I am alive and well. Moving on.

My coworker is so annoying and poor soul bc I don’t think he means to be annoying that’s just his nature.

Chapter I  - The Phone

My coworkers office is next to mine and he shares it with two other people. Whenever those people aren’t there and their phones ring, he goes ahead and answers them (I am getting annoyed just typing this out). Once he answers he’ll say: “Phone from 〚ENTER NAME〛, 〚HIS NAME〛speaking”. I do not understand, it’s not his phone, why is he answering? I am annoyed, he is not doing anything to me yet I am annoyed. 

Chapter II - Lunch Break

Sometimes my coworkers invite him to lunch with us. I must oblige; nobody in the workplace knows I find him annoying, I cannot rat myself out now. His topics are the most boring, nothing interesting to be said. He talks about his old job plenty and I am constantly bored. I waste 30-40 minutes of my lunch. I could have stayed in my office, ate there and have had a better time. 

Chapter III - Sit Down

As stated in chapter one, his office is next to mine. There is a door that connects them which remains open for most of the time since I have a lot to do with the other two coworkers sharing an office with him. While my other two coworkers remain seated, this annoying coworker is constantly standing up. If he were sitting I wouldn’t have to see him, but he is constantly standing up and I constantly have to see him. I am still annoyed.

Chapter IV - Paper

He is constantly coming into my office to use my paper shredder. He shreds so much paper. How can one shred so much paper? At this point into my breakdown, I am beyond annoyed, he’s so annoying. Why is … (let it be known that chapter four was interrupted by him annoying me yet again)  Continuing on my train of thought, why is he always shredding paper? Can’t he have more digital files? He shreds paper at least every day, that’s already too much.

Chapter V - What He Just Did To Me

He walked into my office and asked if I could (from the money I manage at work) give someone their money back. My limit is 10€, I don’t go over that, if someone needs more then there’s another process for it. The money being asked for was 13€: over my 10€ limit but come on, not by a lot. But he was asking me and I am awful and annoyed at him from already just today (it’s barely 10 a.m.) constantly standing up and walking around. I tell him the limit is 10€, he asks if I can make an exception. I am a child, I do not answer but start looking for the money, I answer. I say okay. I only have a 20€ bill. I tell him I can only give the money if 〚INSERT NAME〛has money for change. My annoying coworker tells me “give you money? he is the one that needs to get paid” As if I wasn’t annoyed already. Holding the 20€ bill in my hand, I tell him that I cannot give him the money if I do not get change back (why do I need to explain this?).                                              
Chapter VI - Happy

Apart from being boring he is also boringly happy. Every time he walks into the office instead of saying hello from his office to my boss’ (which is doable,) he will walk all the way inside the room to say hello. Annoying. He is not really happy… he is boringly happy. What even is that? I did not know this existed prior to him. Imagine just a boring person with a loud voice and boring thoughts and boring interests. 

Chapter VII - Yesterday

This is a tweet chapter. Yesterday he just annoyed me bc he is annoying. As I was leaving my office (I can leave whenever I want) he made a joke about how I had barely gotten into the office and was leaving already. I was in the office before him but hey what can one do when one has an annoying collegue?

Chapter VIII - Mother Leave

He is only around until my loving coworker comes back from mother leave. This story has a happy ending after all but in the meantime, I am annoyed simply bc he is annoying.